Im just addicted to the song " xing fu bu mie"
i kept listening
may it be on laptop now
or may it be on ky's MP3

There's something that i always wanted to do
but it's something that i may regret in doing
will i die because of that?
i also don't know
i scare but my curiousity just can't stop me
but people are scolding me
cause i wanna try
can't blame em ya?
it's not right yea?

sigh*


damn fucked sometimes blog can't like give me express my damn fucked up feeling
because people would just misunderstand and talk to me rubbish again
who likes to quarrel
haven't i done anything

if i'm so bad then hate me lah

fucked up life

im SO FUCKED UP ANGRY

am i really invisible

to people am i really like that

so fucked sia,

what think me as a fucker

i flirt

i what like to fuck people

still got what

i drink everyday

i go out everyday

HELLO!! if people know nuts

just keep quiet

what for say me

will contribute anything to you?

when i care can anybody see?

ONLY KNOW I GET ANGRY

YES why the hell would i get angry

think bout it lah

if i really don't care i won't asked QUESTION

YES I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND WHEN IM IN ANGRY MOOD

BUT IF I ANGRY YOU WANT ANGRY BACK

AREN'T YOU MAKING ME EVEN MORE FUCKED UP!

can't understand me?

WHY ..

FUCK LAH

I don't wanna blog anymore

Yesterday had some bad experience happened.

Anyway took 857 to suntec then walked to the familar staircase to smoked at Marina sq
They played silent hill until 12plus? until nearly all the entrance out of Marina sq was locked
then we *played silent hill live! by going into a door and inside is filled with even more doors -.-
okay then finally found our exit out which is at the familar 7-11 NEARBY!! (:

went in they bought water, while i asked alethia...."eh want drink not"
alethia: I rather use the money buy food
me: ok lor then want eat chips not
alethia: SIAO so ex
me: how ex *stares at the price tag
alethia: 2 packet for $8 bucks
me: -.- so ex PENGZ HAHAHAHA

okay went out of 7-11 to eat my antibiotic
and applied the eye ointment
i didn't apply myself
and to the person that helped me apply
NBCB SO PAIN!

My memories are faint
-.- okay after that from Marina walked out to nearby Millinia walk then to Esplanade
stop by DXO actually wanna go in
then don't know what is "first drink"
then forget it
don't malu ourselves XD

walked and walked
took the sg map and continue to check and walked to one-fullerton that side
WHICH SEEMS SO FAMILAR
to where i walked...

End up still cab down to GEYLAND
hahaha me and yk had frog w/stock
alethia and ky that two HUNGRY GHOST
had frog porriage
actually i felt wasting money
cause i only know how to drink the soup WHICH IS SEDAP!
and eat the thigh of the frog legs


whatever..who cares


then walked to the familar streets of geylang
LORONG 16 - LORONG 21
-.- walked pass them...

I was okay till got one part when i walked
GOT THIS GIRL SITTING DOWN
WANT TO TOUCH MY PRIVATES BELOW!!
Lucky i dodge and she touch my THIGH
okay now i'm getting a bit scare
then got this drunken china woman
walked towards me!!
then i diam and walked past so scare!!
hahaha alethia said she says: " TMD bu guan wo"

AHHH AFTER THIS WOMAN I REALLY SO FEEL LIKE RUNNING OUT
FUCK SIA SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!
NEVER ASKED ME BE SO MAN AND WALKED INSIDE
DAMN THE TWO DAMN WOMAN ALSO NEVER KANA ANYTHING LO!!
FUCK THE HELL OUT OF ME
NOW THINK AND BLOG ALSO SCARE

okay from there took NR7 to somerset
then from somerset took NR1 back to khatib AGAIN
-.- i want change place to hang-out always khatib so boring

then after that walked back home
eat and zZzzzz THE END

这样够了
最后一次试着在
这没有你的地方学着
你说的爱


为了让你快乐
我选择寂寞
也要很坚强的爱着


coz i believe in love
手紧握却心好痛
coz i believe in love
我以为幸福会陪我到最后

我不是不懂爱的脆弱
这一刻却放不开手
就这样执着
刻骨铭心地爱错


这样够了
最后一次试着在
这没有你的地方学着
你说的爱


为了让你快乐
我选择寂寞
也要很坚强的爱着

coz i believe in love
手紧握却心好痛
coz i believe in love
我以为幸福会陪我到最后

我不是不懂爱的脆弱
这一刻却放不开手
就这样执着
刻骨铭心地爱错

love可能会让我变得更勇敢
我想要的明天不再和你有关ohh

chrous X2

就傻傻执着
没放弃过
希望有天
你懂

This song is by WOW - cause i believe in love

read through the lyrics
i felt that, it seems so nice so... (:

after see-ing the doctor not bad
my eye swell had become better

seriously people don't know what am i thinking
i also don't know what am i doing
so must well don't know all the way
i'm going bike practical soon at 5.55pm
which is so soon now is like 4.43pm

yet WHY AM I STILL HOME?
cab cab cab XD

For people whom wanna find me CALL BACK MY OLD NUMBER
That one starts with 9XXXXXXX

And for people whom
which to kill me
please let me know before hand so that i can prepare XD

Some entertainment: (heh ideas from cause i believe in love)

我以原意放弃
以让你快乐
以自私的骗所有人
以称单一切
以用我自己
来付出
不原谁会懂
就这样

我希望你能恨我
希望你就这样
永远不懂
傻傻的
望了我

我以不知道
我以要的是什么

我很自私
请快我
把所有的痛
都给我

把一切
都有我一个来
承担

每当我
把手放在胸口
那就是我痛的时候

记得我
只要你记得我坏
那就不会那么痛苦

何必等待着奇迹
何不自己去创造自己的希望

我希望你的世界
以跟我无关
那就不会那么痛

不管我怎么说
都没人懂而误会
那我何必再解释

这样就够了
我以泪了
以累了

Guess my body have become weaker already
sigh what happen?
what has happen?
Went NOS (numbers) drink beer only
after don't know how many glass which is not my normal standard -.-
head started to spin a little
i thought is okay
went out to smoke
sit down smoke i thought still okay
but like symptoms of low-blood
okay well stood up opened the door in to NOS
guess i just black out and next i was lying on the floor
GRR angry eh i'm so heavy yet have to trouble stef to pick me up
seriously i knew i had low blood by then
went toilet to force myself to vomit
was feeling better but my low-blood was getting worst
as inside me have no food
whenever i stand up i feel like fainting
was damn un-well
i felt so cold .. very cold
anyway sat there rest abit i was feeling A LITTLE better
headache..
eye swollen
i'm hungry now
think getting another low-blood soon
When has my body deteriorate at this speed?

everyone is saying me
ultimate
heart-breaker (:

When people are at a total lost
devastated to do thing which are totally wrong
How many people would know my feeling
so do i looked like someone whom like to hurt others feeling
yea if so i'm so inhuman
sometimes i just want to take the away your pain and i take the burden myself

i know how people can change overnight
if people asked me if i changed
i would say no,
for i am still the same me
just that im hidding things which are really unspeakable

ask me what ? sorry i will never say
assume me
accuse me
im a liar (:
im a heart-breaker (:
what am i?
nothing

after watching "The L word"
some perspection had change
so why do girls and girls want to be together
"jenny" : "because i loved to fucked girls"
LOL!!! when i heard that i just wow i didn't know that's the reason
ARGH NO!! hahaha hell no reason for me

so in a GGR
should bungs go 2 way or 1 way?
in a GGR should the bungs think like a man or a female
if like a man aren't they going out with a man like straight
then what for be a lesbian?
if like a female people would say
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sissy bung =.=
that's what i think and it may be true!!

hahaha sucked
my eyes suddenly swollen on the right
now even more swollen and pain
then my previous left
sigh

The veronicas


Leave me alone
get out of my face
i'm tired of love
feeling so misplaced
time for you to go
cause i know i'm better off my own
LEAVE ME ALONE

** I know this is how you feel

I finally understand the feeling already (:
Finally understand the feeling
how is it when you know that special person sing-ing with another
i finally understand
how is it feels like to know that, that special person drank with another
i finally understand
how is it feels like to know that, that special person cared for another...

I finally understand how it feels to push people whom care about you away
I finally understand the pain
the help-less-ness that has keep surfacing
I understand that when you on the urged to feel like dying
you think about someone you wouldn't want to hurt most then stopped doing

How clever can i be...
I'm finally free (:
peeps happy for me?

Soon my dad's really chasing me out already
today isn't a warning
he is really going
maybe he wouldn't even say when
he will just leave
leave me for good

I say already
I lied
I won't say what i really feels
for i will only get scoldings
and maybe dis-trust
people just can't understand how i feel
people just can't accept that the fact that i'm like that
everything i say i do
isn't what you people usually think and thought it was...
or was it that i'm too complicated?

Maybe but i don't know
I don't know what else to say...
So sleepy..
i just can't take the pain alone
yet i want to...
I rather i'm the one whose taking the burden the pain, the load
i rather be...
why can't i?
cause i'm feared of pain too

I'm a human being
i just too tired to blog

I am at a lost
I don't know what to do anymore
sometimes i think the best solution is to be alone
is to be .. alone
very alone
I pretend to everything
I lied to everything
don't ask me
don't ask me why
just don't
seriously i don't know how to answer lots of question is not like that is not like what?!
but i just don't fucking know myself anymore

I hate myself and i just want to be left alone
Just alone for the time being
maybe as time past people would find their real ones already...

I just want to be left alone
I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME ANYMORE!
NOT ANYMORE

Hate myself
I tried not to think
I tried just that isn't it.. grr im so angry
fucked the hell outta me