Fuglyy bitch i hate you WONG YEE KUAN to the max
get out of my life and don't even think of becoming my friend sucker

I can't sleep so im here (:
tomorrow working same time to same time
actually is just training hahaha
super slack ..

okay gonna post some pictures

Think i so like to work so late lack of sleep and timing be totally different from people, if not for people do not want to hire me

So what if i'm useless as compared
money money money
like i not stress bout money
and for you infomation
i didn't used red packet for Liquar or what
i used for my hand and leg to see doc
AND I STILL STOPPED HALF WAY cause no money
and for your info,
my wrist still hurts a lot just that i NEVER EVER COMPLAIN!

think im so happy
with here pain there pain
think im so happy to be scolded and never complain
im not a sick cat
but neither do i want to scold

stress stress stres...
come undergo what i'm damn going through
people always think HOW CI CHAM THEY ARE
but if they really peeped into others life
they will notice they are not the ONLY ONES
and to make comparison
I DARE NOT
cause i know of people whom have worst stituation than mind

I HAVEN GOT ENOUGH SLEEP!!
IM GOING BACK TO BED
NO MESSAGE NO PHONE CALL TILL I WAKE UP..

I assholic looked like i freaking cut BANGS!!
oh dear..
hahaha it's been long since i blog
and sooner or later i won't be blogging much (:

So for people whom know why good
=.= hahaha..
Actually also nothing much..

Was doing the Memories thingy in facebook
awww so many memories in school
i so miss school sometimes
especially secondary days...

when i could walked around and you know peep into people's class
fake fake walked pass people class just to see em..
hahaha.. or maybe slack in school toilet to skip chinese lesson
and find PHOTOS that i can't find in people's handphone XD

aww those memories suddenly surface again..
maybe lots of people forget but for me i remember

LOL passing letter every single lesson that allows me to
or cooked for people before school start and force them to EAT!! (:

or was it cheating during exam HAHAHHA
or was it climbing on the *roof of the old blog for sec 3 express to hang clothes*
hahaha i climb just to play..

or was it peeping out at parade sq to see that girl XD
or was it peeping into people's class

SO MANY MEMORIES sigh... it's over
just memories..
i simply... **** ***

I’m sure my finger is only here
for softly touching your cheek
only for touching it

I’m sure the shining moon is only here
for me and you to forever look up at
it was only for us to look up at

Whenever I feel down
you were always by my side
You always smiled for me
but now you’re gone

From the palms of my hands
my sadness pours out in large drops, “My Love”
Tonight in this town
I think I’m the one who is crying the most

Because you loved me
I had become who I am now
Wind that carries time,
Somehow, bring back the eternity from that day
Bye Bye Bye…
Why did you say bye bye bye

Back then, there was that song we always listened to
It came on while we were standing at the corner
We shared our earphones together

Then you’ll suddenly pull away
and the earphone would come out of my ear
and I pretended to get mad

Our eyes would meet suddenly
and our lips pressed together
You said you will always protect me

I gently reach up to the navy blue sky
I feel like my heart is about to burst
Just hold me, just one more time

If I have been honest that time
This never would have happened
When I wake up, everything will be a dream
And then
you’ll say jokingly “bye bye bye.”
Why did you say bye bye bye?

I was looking absent-minded at the people on the street
while walking with you beside the rows of trees
You said you’ll make pasta for me next time
and we’ll go on a trip together next year
and that you’ll always protect me, but..

From the palms of my hands
my sadness pours out in large drops, “My Love”
Tonight in this town
I think I’m the one who is crying the most

Because you loved me
I had become who I am now
Wind that carries time,
Somehow, bring back the eternity from that day

I gently reach up at the navy blue sky
I feel like my heart is about to burst
Just hold me, just one more time

If I have been honest that time
This never would have happened
When I wake up, everything will be a dream
And then
you’ll say jokingly “bye bye bye.”
Why did you say bye bye bye?

Take this decision...
Sometimes you cannot choose both of the world
family or friends..
me or her...

遺憾到　無助到　難受到
殘酷到到早上很怕張開眼睛
連望見　牆上撲　灰一片
都想到　那張臉　便逃命和怨命
這麼感性　難怪無法撇清
已逝去感情早已沒生命
這種反應 完全是任性
告別唯有當擦亮眼睛

＊多少失戀者仍然健在
證實要放棄過去至找到未來
曾被愛同樣有權分開
拒絕悔改
會死於愛海
一生本應該活在現在
掛念會美化了錯愛 永遠受害
愁在理論像哲學精彩
說易行難無可奈＊

誰沒有　盲目過　然後再
麻木過要恭賀得到比失去多
沉澱過　明白過　只不過
花開最想念仍然是無花果
話雖不錯　人有時愛痛楚
太自覺可憐偏卻沒幫助
大千色相　誰人憑甚麼
會令誰永世困在最初

REPEAT＊

如可　這麼理智的話
那段愛可能是假
就與他哭到快樂吧
也許開心過總有代價

多少失戀者仍然健在
證實要放棄過去至找到未來
曾被愛同樣有權分開
拒絕悔改
會給感性所害
一生本應該活在現在
誰每日能開心喝采
那寂寞如何忍耐

讓愛化解恨
反愛仇恨

人事件情為何物

人就是那麼的奇怪
為何遲到如今
我還是未明白
人與人的分別與獨特

愛真能化解恨嗎?
還是真能反愛仇恨呢?

愛他是一個難辭的字
我明白他原來的樣子
因為這裡有個人
天天想你幾萬次
就是下在你的心理及小時

送出機前幾萬次
愛你的句子...

一開始每一次
都回在我心中寫你的名字
是你讓愛變的真實

一開始每件事
後來回想都是永恆的真愛
不會改
不該停
不消失

Don’t look at me like that
Come on, why are you giving me the silent treatment?

It’s great if you’re feeling good
But you just don’t listen
So just hold me tightly

Romance, love,
they don’t need a specific form
because crying hurts all the same

I love you, but even though
I want to break down your world
I know I never could

If I could just be happy right now
Then it wouldn’t matter if we could not spend eternity
together, as long as I can stare in silence

Because you’re still important to me

Whenever I think “I want to be with her”
Our distance irritates me
and the crying hurts all the same

I think you love me
but you’ve hidden everything from me
So I can’t do anything about it

If I could just be happy right now
Then it wouldn’t matter if we could not spend eternity
together, as long as I can think of you I won’t need anything

Because you’re still important to me

What should I do know?
Right now, you’re nice to me
But you just don’t listen
So I hold tightly onto my dream instead

In the dream I had that day
a shadow stretched in the light of sunset
Suddenly I feel you there,
so I turn my head

Countless seasons have passed
and though they all felt empty
you are still in my memories,
gently smiling at me

“Losing” hurts more
than giving up
But I have no regrets
...I’d rather be punched that regret
Tomorrow I’ll be stronger
than the person I am today
Because somewhere, you will be smiling
even when you’re crying... I know for sure

On the way back, the rain poured down
and I had forgotten to take my umbrella
The silence between us is frightful
as our shoulders are soaked with rain

No matter how many times I touch your hand
you don’t grab mine
And in the future, you will disappear
without even saying goodbye

“Change” is what we feared
But we have both changed
If I can forget that you left
...I’d want to embrace my pain
The days I spent with you
will sparkle longer than eternity
I order to meet you once again
I’ll chase that dream... even further

“Losing” hurts more
than giving up
But I have no regrets
...I’d rather be punched that regret
Tomorrow I’ll be stronger
than the person I am today
I’ll always be thinking of you
even if you’re someone else’s... I’ll always...

When you cried like that...
You and me, we’d cry...
Remember all those happy moments
why won’t you?

You shine in a place that I don’t know about
The dreams that passed each other are already in the distance

Remember me, when you’re lonely
are you feeling a little better?
When I sang
if you’d turned around, you could be by my side
I’m glad to have loved you
Now I undestand at last

When you cried like that...
You and me, we’d cry...
Thank you for smiling when you
remembered all those happy moments

But because you cried...
I have to cry on my own...
One day, could we
remember all those happy moments?

When I couldn’t explain my own feelings, I was so wretched
I try to forget, but yeah, I know I can’t

Remember me, when you’re lonely
Always softly wishing
When I sang
if you’d turned around, you could be by my side
I’m glad to have loved you
I’m glad to have been with you

But because you cried...
I have to cry on my own...
When I remember those happy moments
I thank you

On the opposite coast of sadness
is something called a smile

But before we can go there,
is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams, we can’t have a reason to run away
We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh
Because like a boat that opposes the stream
we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness
something called a miracle, is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break
the wet streets sparkling
Although it brings only darkness
A powerful, powerful light
helps push us to walk on

felt so emo
after listening to only human
suddenly memories
and memories surface

human like to use
what is this this this
then this won't happen
why before let it happen
stop doing?

so many things left unsaid
will always be left unsaid
will always be buried behind
slowly one day when everyone get over
everyone just forget and move on
only left the minor
that will always remember

Wen jie sucks (:

The stars that surrounds the ocean
The ocean that surrounds the sky
just like people and people
they may seems so far yet they are there
always with you
not physically
but mentally
they are there
always there

Yeah met ang and mad
train down to Douby Gaut
then walked to The Cathay
Yeah! ate at Aston again SEDAP!

Me and van ate the same
Grill fish w herbs with Garden Veggie and Onion rings!
Simply love the Mushroom soup

The Cathay got one shop - Volta SO NICE the clothes
hahaa..Dope caps are nice too sob
Volta have the bags and tees that i want!
grr... gonna save $$

Watch The curious case of Benjamin buttons
DAMN SAD
SHOULD WATCH
though very long the show
i sit until my ass numb
hahaa..

Shopped at Daiso
bought quite a lot of stuff (:
OH YA I SAW ONE BOOK I WANT!!
30 bucks SIGH
though was so TEMPTED to buy ):
NO MONEY
sigh

sigh
my back hurts so much
made me can't sleep
can't breath properly
sigh oh ya

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEN WEE RONG !!

Happy bdae Tan Ky!! (:

Valentine is coming soon >.<
another money wasting day XD hahhaaha
i sound so un-romantic right
weet what ever.. sian bored at home again
damn TAN WEI KIAM GO EAT WITH DENNIS ps me!! (:

but it's okay today i've lots of errand to make
shall do some self training before the night comes

Some photos that me and wei kiam went to SSC
ate at Ashton? Is that the name?
Both of us ate Rib eye xtra cut with pasta salad
damn i was cheated to think that PASTA salad should have VEGETABLE
but i was totally wrong!
It's PASTA!!
after that, that hungry ghost still want DESERT!!
when i was so bloat i was force to eat =.=
hahaha end up we went to MOF (Ministry of Food)
for his red bean desert with xtra *dumpling and almond
and i drank Hazelnut latte WEET my favourite

shopped at Cotton on and body shop then when Yishun library borrow books!!!
so happy..

shall upload photos (:

OH MY GOD TINA IS SO HOT same goes for jenny, shane and alice!! =.=
God im sick hahaha!!

So what bout subconsious mind
Seriously i do not get why some people can think that way
is it the consiousness that cause them to behave like that
or psychologically they are like that

Humans are hard to understand indepth
just for the same as me
i do not understand me and myself

i came to the point now that i really hate quarrel-ing
it just stress me all up and become tense

i really do not get it
certainly unfair
people can say people
but they do not understand or accept the fact when people just say them back
it's the same theory

why people just cannot
why people have to lie?
lying is so fun?
white lies are ok
but some say no

though now i believe white lies are good
but at least tell me

seriously
i always say
"lie to me once and i never believe in you"
but do not seems that i can do it
it always happen this way
i can't do it
i still believe in people so much

all i wanted is people to believe in me
but maybe not now anymore
up to you to believe or not
though it hurts to know that people do not trust you at all
but it's the brain tenically that tell thems to do so

so what if the brain function this way
people can train their brain to do so
just that some people are just way too stubborn to do so

i once have eating-disorder
and then i thought it was so cool
i thought i had full control of myself
but then the next thing that i know
is that i have already lost control of myself
i'm not the person that i am
i lost my dreams
nearly my everything
i regain back strength though it's hard and i sink in to another eating-disorder
for quite some time
than i realise i should stop
this is getting out of hand
though i'm still quite consious but what i eat
but not as paranoid as last time anymore
and i'm happier now with this getting at least a bit of control
though now i always hear people say them fat when they are not
and telling themselves not to eat
seriously let me think back above last time
i hope i can educate them on those food nutrition
cause i have read up lots of books about eating-disorder
and find those people are seriously very silly
but as someone whom wants to helped them should always be by their side
it's by will
it's by my own will that i recover
friends, family can only be there
but when friends and family pressurise too much
this is bad too
when i remember my friends always ask me eat and i say no
it create them a mentalty that i will never eat
this is what i hate and detest
i can eat
is i choose to eat or not to eat
it will give me time before i will eat those food
time is all i need to recover and i did.

the past how many people gave me time and gave up on me
2nd ex 3rd ex ? i don't know
family member do not understand cause they are never in my place
it really takes my will

seriously never will i wanna see people around me do this and i hope none are like that, just balance what you eat
or if you want to lose weight eat lesser carbs and more protein and drink more water and the key is to exercise

Schizophrenia - 精神分裂症

I have been reading much of these books
so this is one of it...

Have been busy with swimming and gym

Schizophrenia is not the same as what people called split-personality or multi-personality.
It is a serious, long term, life-altering illness it is one of the brain disorder characterize by a variety of different symptoms, many of which can dramatically affect an individual's way of thinking and ability of function.

People with schizophrenia could not distinguishing from what is real and what is not, they are not able to fully control their emotions or think logically and usually have trouble relating to other people.

They also often suffer from hallucinations and also much of their bizarre behaviour is usually due to individual acting in respond to something they "think" is real but is only in their mind.

There are 3 types of different schizophrenia symptoms:

Positive symptoms

Where by they would see and hear things that don't exist or wasn't there, they can also have delusions (false beliefs that defy logic or any culturally specific explanation and that cannot be change by logic or reason)

Negative symptoms

These people are often lack motivation and appear lazy and may be much slower to respond than most people.

Cognitive symptoms

Most people with the disorder suffer from impairments in memory, learning, concentration and their ability to make sound decision. These so-called cognitive symptom interfere with an individual's ability to learn new things, remember things they once knew, and use skills they once had. Cognitive sympton can make it hard for a person to continue working at a job, going to school or participating in activities he/she may have enjoyed at one time.

sources from: Schizophrenia for the dummies

It is much to complicatence
that i have understand just the brief part of it,
but from what i have read it is very interesting thus i decided to blog it
Things that happened that revolve around, knowing that the brain functions more to other things other than emotions and feelings.

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go