I just realise i have been dwelling in my thoughts
Wrong thoughts,
Wrong thinking.
I need to wake up
And i have...
I'm still growing
When i thought i always think for people,
but sometimes choices is to hurt people.

The choice you made
The thoughts i have
selfish thoughts

I thought i could not hurt anyone
But yet i'm hurting again...

When then i can be GOD!
Joke

I never wanted to grow up
Growing up early
learning so much things
thinking for people
i thought i did it

Now i realise how small i am
how much things i couldn't do

Simple things
Hurt someone

I'm lost
searching for my soul

What am i finding exactly?

I don't know
suddenly my fire is gone
I don't know what i yearn for anymore

...
nothing

I don't yearn for anything

Maybe too much suppressing

I suppress each and every feeling

I'm to my max soon
again
maybe
nowadays i become weaker

Suppress isn't good
but neither i wanna to say it or show it

Maybe is the pain i suffered

Made me just wanna the alter ego of me
Alter ego

completely different from who am i
maintaining someone isn't you

isn't simple

but why do i feel so complicated?
when something is just so simple.
For example
i just have to say out

No means no

As in what i'm feeling now
what im suppressing is my feeling

simple don't think

yes i don't think
but sometimes simply cant helped it

especially when you're alone

like..now

anticipating
waiting
hoping
searching
yearning
wanting
wishing

I suppress the feeling i have
because i don't want that feeling to overtake me
and i would end up hurting like i did once
for me i will never show
even though i show it's never complete
i will hide
as much as possible
i won't say i love you
unless
i mean it
i won't because i don't wanna show
sometimes it's obvious
so i tend to find others ways to hide
hide away from my emotions
emotions are redundant
i don't need and neither i want it
worst when it overpowered me and i felt weak being controlled by my own emotions

simple

"I cant love you, I don't want to love you but i love you"
Simple sentence yet complicated

Just a sentence
nothing much
aww

i'm so busy that i seldom blog

Pondering and wondering
Sigh
It's like happening again (:
Haven't i been blogging
well that's because i'm so busy

Things never go the way i wanted
I'm kinda suay
Season parking and road tax kena stolen
for fuck!
tmd...
sigh.. what to do???

kinda emo
Today got scolded at work
for my relanctancy
what am i thinking
why am i doing the wrongs things when i know im wrong?
Hahaha..
Maybe cause i'm thinking too much again
Stupid me...

Where is the love??
So feel like writing something
like so long never write
like wanna write a story

would you believe if i tell you i love you?
hahaha.. nah lousy story
as in for a title..
or was this something i wanna say LOL!!!
make a guess (:

My laptop has been down these few days
ultra broke these few days sigh.
Everyday was filled was filled with
"I have to study"
Even though i'm having holiday now
Life is like studying daily, working

I don't looked forward to days like x'mas
it doesn't excite me anymore

People are in and outta each's person life
sometime you realise you are also just a stepping stone to someone's life
you're there at some point to make someone grow a lil?

or maybe you just meant to pass by that person...

did a body analysis
I'm normal with my whole body!
Except i'm over at somewhere (:
My left arm muscles!
and my body muscles mass was over too!
HAHHAAH!!

So happy!

Can i make my mark to become a better me?
sometime i just so disappoint in everything
people ard me changing
when i realise that well..
HAHAHAHA

nothing

Update bout my life!
Bored these few days
was bout sch sch sch and just...school!

Laptop crash on tue
Back ache...
did accupunture
f.king pain
went down acer for repair due to 10 dec UT!
damnit
went down AND my laptop is healed!
KNN!

waste my whole trip!

spend freaking don't know how many hours did my character design UT

how i yearn to sleep well

im just freaking tired
i need a rest
YET
on coming production coming on during holiday for filming
GOD!

busy busy
i need a break from work...

i gonna die soon
"accomplish your dreams"

Busy busy busy
UT grades for art of story is disheartening
aww
SADDEN!
Character design was okay ONLY
sigh

busy with school
Portfolio
bla..
i want to take a long break

sorry peeps if i take a longer time to reply
(:

Keekee: "you don't run away and text me ask why i meet MUSHROOM!"

Painting left un-done
Not planning to do i think
i scare i do wrong on canvas..

So long since i blogged
so so so busy
yet i put i work so many days for the 2 weeks
am i stupid?
LOL

GOSH!

Yikes!

Rushing to work
10-4pm
WOW!!

i'm so tired

AHHHHH...
fat fat fat le!!

Cut hair (:
shall upload my photos soon (:

Finally chiong finished my Flash animation for web page banner ONLY
Guess what i just vomited,
didn't feel well
Don't know why
suddenly feel like vomiting and i just vomited.

God disgusting lah..

Atrocious!

I'm so not feeling well,
Gonna chiong my webpage
Gonna chiong work for money
Gonna chiong on Mascot
Gonna chiong and learn more bout photography
Gonna chiong for each and every contest availble
I'm gonna die of chiong-ing

No one see my efforts ):

sigh...

I still feel like vomiting
I'm getting weak,
Fuck!

sigh...