♥ Memories are meant to fade for us to move on

Sunday, January 4, 2009

@ 10:56 AM

I don't know really don't know...
Sometimes i may smile inside i ain smiling yet who really knows when i feel like crying
sucks everything sucks
start of the year and tomorrow school reopen soon
I thought i could have a good start but no

Things aren't moving the way i want
It doesn't...

I'm not emotional
just that don't know...seems i just can't be friends
can't be a good lover nor anything

i'm more suited alone
rather
i felt more relax, relieve with jessica they all
no quarrels bla

somehow i just do not know what i want anymore

Neither do i want to fight

Maybe i'll be back on court this year

learning back MuayThai

be more preoccupied by things (:

Find a decend job earn some pocket money at least to buy things i want
I don't want to care how you peeps looked at me
At least i know this is my own life
people whom hate me, continue
don't give a damn i don't care much anymore

i have to give up my drinking life and back to normal
get good grades like how i do in semester 1

I have become stronger
for my tears don't fall off easily
i will not shed a single tear
not for anything .. at least
people that i cared
if you take my words for granted
its okay...

I'm stubborn
if i wanted to...
i can be heartless if i'm angry
once i cooled down i'm back to normal
people just don't understand when i angry i will say anything even the most hurtfull words
this is me..
no matter how poor thing you were
when im angry no matter what, i will never ever give in
till the stage when i realise me myself have gotta overboard
this is me..
after that i will not easily talk but you will realise i care in a different way
...SCOLD and GET angry but not that angry already
at this stage maybe i will get you things maybe food
shows i care but i won't say
i will neither laugh and will continue have that fucked up super ultra dao face
this is what i realise
that's why i'm hard to be with
HAHHAHA...it's okay i think now
i don't think many people accept my behaviour
for i inherited from my dad
this is his method
i just behaved the same like him
WHY SIA!!
why can't be more like my mom
hahaha..
my mom is more "soft-hearted" as compared to my dad.. though my dad does
BUT HIS IS AFTER QUARREL =.=
after quarrel he super soft hearted just like me =.=
but my mom if quarrel she can be damn heart harded which is so sad for me sometimes..

I don't know feels i'm getting older
and
I ain have a good r/s always
maybe i shouldn't have
i have NO RIGHTS to love
but to hurt people
do they know actually how i feel
sigh ..

so sad makes me don't want love anyone
they should have their ...happiness on others not me
guess they do (:

sigh* vex i'm more vex

It's not the last farewell ♥