So what bout subconsious mind
Seriously i do not get why some people can think that way
is it the consiousness that cause them to behave like that
or psychologically they are like that

Humans are hard to understand indepth
just for the same as me
i do not understand me and myself

i came to the point now that i really hate quarrel-ing
it just stress me all up and become tense

i really do not get it
certainly unfair
people can say people
but they do not understand or accept the fact when people just say them back
it's the same theory

why people just cannot
why people have to lie?
lying is so fun?
white lies are ok
but some say no

though now i believe white lies are good
but at least tell me

seriously
i always say
"lie to me once and i never believe in you"
but do not seems that i can do it
it always happen this way
i can't do it
i still believe in people so much

all i wanted is people to believe in me
but maybe not now anymore
up to you to believe or not
though it hurts to know that people do not trust you at all
but it's the brain tenically that tell thems to do so

so what if the brain function this way
people can train their brain to do so
just that some people are just way too stubborn to do so

i once have eating-disorder
and then i thought it was so cool
i thought i had full control of myself
but then the next thing that i know
is that i have already lost control of myself
i'm not the person that i am
i lost my dreams
nearly my everything
i regain back strength though it's hard and i sink in to another eating-disorder
for quite some time
than i realise i should stop
this is getting out of hand
though i'm still quite consious but what i eat
but not as paranoid as last time anymore
and i'm happier now with this getting at least a bit of control
though now i always hear people say them fat when they are not
and telling themselves not to eat
seriously let me think back above last time
i hope i can educate them on those food nutrition
cause i have read up lots of books about eating-disorder
and find those people are seriously very silly
but as someone whom wants to helped them should always be by their side
it's by will
it's by my own will that i recover
friends, family can only be there
but when friends and family pressurise too much
this is bad too
when i remember my friends always ask me eat and i say no
it create them a mentalty that i will never eat
this is what i hate and detest
i can eat
is i choose to eat or not to eat
it will give me time before i will eat those food
time is all i need to recover and i did.

the past how many people gave me time and gave up on me
2nd ex 3rd ex ? i don't know
family member do not understand cause they are never in my place
it really takes my will

seriously never will i wanna see people around me do this and i hope none are like that, just balance what you eat
or if you want to lose weight eat lesser carbs and more protein and drink more water and the key is to exercise