It's just so hard to understand someone
i guess i will never will
maybe i did understand but not fully
neither will one understand fully i guess

I can't wait already seriously
on outside i may seem painless
but actual fact sigh
how long can i resist the pain?
i kept quiet
so that i would feel that i ain weak
im still a bung w/o pain yet at times i really wanna shout
PAIN AHHH knnccb kam pua pain...

i mean my wrist (:
same goes to my heart

neither i like to be pity by people
i don't want people think it's just a freaking wrist
damn FUCKING wrist yet i wanna say like i so kelian
hahahha lucky i didn't (: and i won't (:

even when im just holding a damn light helmet!
the pain is excruciating
just a f.king light helmet!

Just hang up the phone with Yang Han
hahaha.. sch reopening
kinda feel like my holiday is damn fast
well, i have to work hard for the future (:

later 8 plus wake up go see sinsei
sigh hope i can wake up and still be alert for work
im waiting ...
yet something crop up
but it's okay... ):

i kinda regret punching vivo that plastic ass thing
make my finger couldn't heal and like a permanent fking disfigured bone
maybe it's just a finger
many would not see
seriously i mind a lot
and seriously that finger too made me have phobia
and it's seriously still hurts a lot too

how it feels when your bones have been crush by your own hands?
typically crush it into pieces
permenent disfigure
for your fking useless ex-gf

i have tonns of scars on my left hand
sigh...

i fear tomorrow go sinsei
i will hear the same old thing like my fourth finger
it can't be cure it won't be heal

that time no matter how many times i went back to sinsei
it doesn't seems to heal
sinsei say no gym
yet i still went yes im stubborn

by right i can't even hold heavy stuff
everytime i just hack care
when on bike
i knew i have to go sinsei
like a warning
shaking in pain
i feel damn weak for that whole hand
i tried to press in the clutch it jerk
cause i have no strength to press
damnit
i hate this weakness
like a weakling
yet i dont want people to care to show only how weak i am
im not even i sick i also don't like people to care

lucky it's minor cause im not to the extend that i cant even hold a damn pen
many a times i feel like getting bang by car
to see who actually cares

many a times i feel like cutting yet my scars stopped me
and i don't wanna break my promises that i have kept for 2 years or longer

many a times i feel like punching the wall
but my 4th finger stopped me from doing
suddenly it's like STOP please don't do it, it hurts

sigh
many a times
maybe i didn't cause i become so fucking useless ):

i wanna sleep yet i cant
i wanna cry yet i don't want
i wanna tell everyone how i feel
yet i can't and do not want

sometimes i just think if everything just kept it to myself would it be better
maybe it does

i know i shouldn't feel this way
suck!
i can't stop but to
FUCK!!
i have to get it outta my mind
maybe im too used to people not caring (:

i have to stop being like that
it's so wrong
sometimes
i just have a lot of thoughts that are unspoken and have not told a single soul
just i do not know who can i trust
imagine those that state and say how much she loved you yet
could cheat and lie to you
i just wonder how and who can i fully trust?

hahahah! ironic isn't it?
maybe in my life i only trusted 1 person (:
i doubt that person knew
but yes i did (:
sigh... i shouldn't wait
see tomorrow how
i couldn't wait for tomorrow
sigh...

sometimes i just wanna die see who cares
and i doubt anyone care (:

hahaha..i try go sleep even though i know i can't