!!! Re-do Portfolio webpage cause i can't open the old files
KNS!
Damnit!!!!

I'm piss, i have been like so guilty that i can't make it for work
Now what? I giving excuses?
Initially me and Yt DID NOT EVEN PUT THOSE SCHEDULE.
Yes, late, we submit our schedule late.

But yes, i did said earlier like on sun about thurs
I didn't want to put NOT BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO HELP!
damn shit!
Is i have too many deadline,
And I REALLY HAVE TO GO THE EXHIBITON!
DAMN, i RUSH already!!
Fri and sat working already

I have been Freaking good enough to NEVER DO NOT WORK ON FRI AND SAT!
ONLY THAT TIME!
Yanning Bdae...

Yes, i never say it wasn't our fault to put schedule late
but if we did inform then was it our fault already?
Hello no one say is your fault.
but WHAT IF it was IMPORTANT!

Weight the importance of things
School or PT job?
Yes i know it's a fucking responsiblity
BUT I HAVE SO SO SO SO SO MANY THINGS HAVEN DONE,
LIKE REALLY HAVE DEADLINES TO MEET
TMD TMD TMD!!

So these are called excuses?!

Now what using pay to like scare us?
i don't freaking give a damn bout money if things is like
i'm stubborn
i never give up the things that i want to pursue
if i dim is important and i have to do it.
I WILL DO ANYTHING TO DO IT!

yes! I'm so freaking stubborn.
But these is important to me..
I need go the tutorial!!
YES IS A YES

I realise this afternoon that i'm madly in love with someone...
I like this sentence (:

Anyway, is my brain failing?
i don't know
My brain and muscle,
i'm scare

Maybe i'm just scaring myself...

Just finish copying SOP
God, i'm tired
But copying and remembering is different (:

Dropped a water glass today
Lucky guest is good enough
I held it
Just like i normally did
but when i put it,
it just slipped and dropped

This is not the first time
but is the first time it really broke
sometimes,
i put the glass
yet,
it didn't goes to the place i wanted to

brain can't control my muscles?

I don't know
My right brain doesn't seems to function well
I have strength...
I have...maybe i don't

Just say about squeezing the damn whipped cream
My hands shiver
Not normal shivering
I don't know why
This is also not the first time

Remember when i played ball
This happens when i held a light stuff
can you believe it?

Maybe i smoke too much
Maybe...

Tomorrow gonna be in bar
I have RP mascot yet to design

I have my dreams
but it seems to drift

I have lots of uncompleted work
but i have a job

I need money
I finally found a solution
but my parents stop me

obstacles that i have to overcome
i'm a free thinker now
yet,
sometimes i wonder
is god testing me?

My life isn't that bad as compared
but can't i have a better one?

How do i make it better?

Can i succeed?

Pondering
Wondering
Hoping
Giving
Taking

Will i mark up to the top someday?

I would say yes
I want to say yes
but can i?

I hope i have much more confidence

Yes i have?

Or do i not have?

I'm contridicting my life
Yes, i'm
Because life doesn't always goes the way you want it to
Maybe it does
But it doesn't

Complicated thinking i have
yet it's so simple
Do i need a chance
or do i need to create a chance?
Can i grab it?
Or have i lose it?

I wonder again...

Those chances that i didn't grab
will it surface again?
no, maybe it doesn't
Alethia told me once
But i forgot what she said
but the meaning kept inside
maybe i shouldn't mention
it's a memory

no it's a lesson

Chances are made
and when chances are made
you have to grab it
before it's too late

But not everything is too late
because somethings are just there
BUT
have you ever turned back and looked at it?
have you just stretch out your hand and grab it?
somethings are just left behind
all you need to do is to open your heart
stretch out your hand
it will be back

But simple things is
have you ever turn around and look at your surrounding?
Appreciate them?

Yes?
No?
The choice is yours
the chance is yours
do you want it?
or do you want it to slipped away

Have you ever regret?
Why?

Think....

Im so stress up about school
suddenly i have sooOOo many things left undone
what worst is the shocking thing i see
Next week work scheldue
Okay i know it's eve
it's 1.5 extra pay

BUT...

*sigh

Sun 3-11 (M/bar)
Mon off (Can catch up with the RP mascot thingy)
Tue 6-11 (RP mascot and webpage gone) *sigh i usually DO NOT WORK on tue and thurs de luh due to car pract last time
Wed 6-11 (M/bar * If i'm not wrong)
Thurs 6-11 (THURS I SOMPA I REALLY GOT THINGS ON, THE PHOTOGRAPHY TALK THAT I DIE,CRAWL ALSO HAVE TO GO! THEN AFTER THAT TALK I ALREADY DECIDED THAT DAY SINCE I NO WORK I HAVE TO GO DOWN SUNTEC FOR THE PORTFOLIO EXHIBITION!)

Now how? Die luh then i realise, nearly all the stuff is due date on Nov 30!! TMD!!

Stress *****

Then have to remember SOP GRRRR

Fri 3-11
Sat 3-11

GOD!!!!

I off only one day MONDAY!
I thurs die also cant work ):
aiyah i don't know how to say lah...
im just so stress up myself
fuck me

Piss damn piss..
don't know for what damn reason in particular too
maybe i do
damn!

I just felt irritated
Don't know why
Cause like disappoint comes one another
FUCK!

Human are just so realistic
never ask me to T**** again man
cause i never will

Human are so influencial

Who to believe
what to believe
how to believe
damn
damn..
don't ask me
i don't know
i see what i see
i believe in only what i see

don't tell me anymore
i only believe in what i see
felt stupid
always stupid

i know
damn it!
CCB!!
IM SO FUCKING PISS THAT I WISH TO VEND MY FUCKING ANGER ON MY HANDS
but that would meant that im childish

DAMN IT!
SO MAKE ME ARGH!!!
FORGET IT!

Why am i so piss off anyway
im so contridicting
KAO!!

tired
think i should rest

the good people usually are those stupid ones
while those dim to be inncocent are those always whom are the...you know what
i knew it all along
yet im always making the same mistake
i trust people too easily

i think too much
i shouldn't even give a damn
aww fuck lah...

zZzz shall sleep and fuck off

It's hard to trust again
i'm so scare of everything
im just so disappointed already

same things happen over and over again
I just feeling that why must all these happen?

Being the good is bad
so maybe i should try being bad

I hate being good yet being said
Yes i dislike to be hate
like duh?
who doesn't?
which idiot will goes ard saying
"hate me pls"
Hahaha..

Forget it man
i have far more disappointment than this
i trust people easily
my greatest weakness was used
so it just feels fucked up

That's why i never wanted to believe nor trust anyone..

I believe in what i see

Haven't been updating lately
having a headache now suddenly
like so long since i've had a headache?

Sigh...
If i could choose my way
If i can be more regconise
If i can be stronger
If i'm richer
what if...
im
but i'm not

Having car practical later
I'm so busy as usual
sigh...

Summary of today:
- Still coughing
- Back ache like shit
- YT, Xinni said i looked pale when working

ha ha well as usual I'm outdoor at night
wow 8pm then break (:
not bad...

In the middle of work,
was asked to bike down to clark quay TCC
took red wine
bike back
aww my cash card $$$$$$
well..I'm okay with it though

Tomorrow having car practical till
then study and do PD
I'm busy
ultimate busy ):

I don't want think bad if what may happen to my back
it's normal isn't it?
lots of people have back bone problem didn't they?
it's okay de right?
i guess so,
so mine should be okay

just scare i will have to spend on medical bills on my stupid back
i know my parents couldn't afford to helped me
i know
kinda sad when i told my dad
yet he still asked me to go for appointment
i was like hoping he won't
at least he could save those unnecessary money for himself
though times i may look as if i do not think for them
but deep down i do

I have so much things that i want and need
Mac book pro
DSLR Nikkon

Yet i have to spend on these
i find this suck
why i seems as if i couldn't help them yet spend money
GOD!
how i wish the sky drop a few thousand it would be at least enough for now
ya, i know...dream on *sigh

realise when i was working
standing that time
back affected every where
my legs
my back

pain
yet i kept quiet
i shouldn't make a big fuss
i shouldn't even blog
maybe...
it's nothing
just a back ache (:

Wheee... Left my cough to recover
Working later at 4pm
pengz!

Tomorrow having UT
so after work = CHIONG BACK HOME!

Very very busy me
but i can still cope i guess
i can't give up and won't give up doing things i like
never...

Those lost chance on people...
Let it be...
concentrate on my future
no point crying over split milk (:

Appointment at TTSH
Jan 20th 2.20pm be there 30min earlier
I SCARE I FORGET!
Hope i can change to a earlier date
cause i will be having school then

I wanna be successful in future!! (:

Sorry for some idiotic fans that wants me to update on the movie summary on "Jennifer's body"
due to i'm busy doing some on going projects which i'm very distracted aww

Jennifer's body by:

Director:
Karyn Kusama

Writen by:
Diablo Cody

Starring:

Megan Fox as Jennifer

Amanda Seyfried as Needy

Johnny Simmons as chip

Summary:
So basically this show is about a normal high school girl, Jennifer and her best friend went to this pub and the band (low shoulder) whom was performing at the pub was filled with greed and thus brought Jennifer to a waterfall that no matter what you throw things down, it just never get surfaced.
So Low shoulder decided to scarific jennifer body's to the satan and did an occur and then killed her.
So typically jennifer did not die, but got the satanic powers which in turn she become a demon that have to depend on flesh.
From friends to foe, jennifer killed chip (needy boyfriend).
Before jennifer died, she bite needy and thus sort of like transfer the demonic powers to needy and there the story goes.

MPV (My point of view)
So as you can see from the above summary, you would slightly got the idea of the show. Well, i think this story was not bad on rating 3:5
At first it showed that needy was already in the prison which creates a impression that she was create then they showed the flash back.
Which was good, also shows that the character have it's alter ego and ego traits.
The climax of the show was maybe when BFF kills each other, in a way it didn't show.
But when needy pulled out the BFF necklace out from Jennifer, it sort of like hurt her in a way that; they are best friends and she doesn't want to do it BUT she have to do it those show. (Subtext)
okay while the twist was a good one, it have 2 one was jennifer suddenly came back bloody at needy's house and the other was when needy become the demon herself.

Well, it's not a bad movie nor very good story line i guess. As the ending was quite stereotype as in predictable.

well for needy's part it create more depth for the characeter to grow while jennifer doesn't have much depth.

well, so that's my comment and summary.

See you guys next time on PENGZ09.blogspot.com

LOG ON TO FIND OUT MORE

Oh i created a Flickr stay tuned on Flickr and fotologue to find out more of my photographs. Need some comments to improve dude/babes (:

Damn i hate vulgarities
yet i keep saying them like every puncuation mark
Fuck that Yk whom have nothing better to do
BUT ASK FUCKING QUESTION AND SAY FUCKING THINGS!
not i like to say about you
hello
imagine you are so fucked up already
YOU SUDDENLY GO SAY I WITH WHICH PERSON AGAIN HERE AND THERE

Hello your fucking problem is it?
Don't make me hate you
damnit!
Don't drag people inside this picture when is you and me quarrel
fucking complain SLUT!
i dare blog and say you
wheras you ?!

Go complain SECRETLY HUH?
actually don't need secretly i know your f.pattern

HELLO ??!?!?! grow up

When you say me i never even tell a single fucking soul
nor complain
now im fucking piss off with you i blogged!
knn!

hope you rot in hell

Fuck lah seriously all come one goal knn who can take it
things happen one by one

Morning near afternoon which is the one i blogged
then i suddenly kana said the SAME THINGS AGAIN!
fuck luh
WHAT I DO NOW EH!
then, this fucking cb bitch DON'T UNDERSTAND IS I DON'T WANT GO DOWN ALREADY
CAUSE BEFORE THAT I FEEL HOT AND GOT FEVER AGAIN AND I JUST F.KING WOKE UP!!
Then i told that bitch i doing thing on phone so loud text me what fucking shit
COMPLAIN TO PEOPLE SOME MORE
HELLO ARE YOU A FUCKING SLUT?!
damn!!
EVERYTHING COME ONE GOAL I FUCKING STRESS THEN DO WHAT?!
GO AND DIE?! KNN

STOP IT CAN!
HELLO!!!

When EACH AND EVERYONE DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT I THINKING THEN DON'T SAY ME!!

Updated fotologue (:
Peeps feel free go browse at my gallery

I thought i don't care
yet droplets flow from the side covering the retina of the eye

But

I'm okay

School today was fun
with some bad smoking experience

Photocopied all my notes
did some touch up to my art pieces (:
Work made me totally no time to update my art work
and portfolio
guess i should give lesser schedule

I'm recovering soon
or maybe recovered ?
Haha..imagine when i see the doctor i don't even know i have fever
just felt hot and unwell
i thought im okay
but guess i'm not
thought only others are cold when they touches me
but in fact it's me thaat is hot
bought marlboro ice blast
hahah.. DAMN cold!
not really fancy "chill" cig now

Having sore throat getting worst

shall continue doing my webpage

Acer is gonna die soon ):
Hope some rich man/woman can be my sugar daddy/mommy
or i become "bung gigolo"
Earn lots of money to get those 2 things that i'm ULTIMATELY SHORT OF!

Bike i think collecting tomorrow
Sigh no money!

How to redeem..
i will find my ways i guess

I just don't get what some are thinking.

Share this,
can you exactly tell someone who is the most precious to you?
Life is tough.
What is precious to you may not be the same for others

slept through the whole 1st break out
now feeling at least a little better
asked zhen yu to da bao for me
grilled fish with cheez tofu and big milk tea
gosh..

okay i think im dying
Im sick
the one beside me rabin i think i pass to him few days back is also sick!
so typically everyone in class is gonna be sick
cus out of 5 my group whom is REAL healthy i think is 2:5
so ratio is 2 healthy and 3 sick!

I know the feeling of having to be strong no matter how much you want to fall
No choice
i'm bung don't want to admit im weak no matter what
i won't..

If you realise by now
i have high sense of pride in these sense

To me now
i just want to excel in life
be successful
no one to stop and never will i let anyone to
i know im weak
but i shall turn it into a motivation for me to carry on to excel.

Finally finish my RJ but not my stuff,
think i would have to rest more and put lesser schedule.

Finally i've had fever until i don't know
hahahaha pengz
Well school ended late
end at 8pm well,
partcially my fault for not checking the announcement earlier that's why i don't know
that today i have to stay in school for stuff till 8pm
complusory somemore
cause it's a component for UT (understanding test)

I'm so tired
really im
god i gain weight think i need to slim down again ):

Finally finish my RJ but not my stuff,
think i would have to rest more and put lesser schedule.

Finally i've had fever until i don't know
hahahaha pengz
Well school ended late
end at 8pm well,
partcially my fault for not checking the announcement earlier that's why i don't know
that today i have to stay in school for stuff till 8pm
complusory somemore
cause it's a component for UT (understanding test)

I'm so tired
really im
god i gain weight think i need to slim down again ):

im sick fuck

Finally i realise we are a bunch of fools
being blind by love
being not able to differentiate
as the saying goes, we are just...執著多親

Finally i realise,
it isn't that we are stupid
but we just let emotions get the better of us
i guess this is the first and the last
this happen to me
phobia...

It's like everything has gone silent
yet i can still sense the excruciating pain
to think that we can still be friends but i doubt so

i look forward to my every step of success
i know if i succeed i can be a better me
and get a better future

i ponder on thoughts
on why human being are so selfish
because it's their thought to help themselves come first
then they put people on their second thoughts
...
not all but some are like that
not towards everyone
but the selected ones
i guess some people just have to be selected
and i think I'm just one of the puzzle in your life

once I'm being piece
I'm just that piece among other pieces
neither am i the last nor the first
just some random pieces that need to complete the whole picture before you know
which would be the last piece

never will you understand nor know who I'm referring to
cause it's simply you don't care nor even treasure these friendship even...
a tiny winy bit
I'm just so stupid to cling on this friendship

Life is tough
the more you want
the more it's harder to achieve
sometimes 100% doesn't guarantee success

Think i have given up hope
totally devastated

the first time i have given up friends
and i say... F.r.i.e.n.d.

I'm just so disappointed in everything
every single thing
that contains bout you
damnit
hahahaa..knowing that you don't give a single damn about it

actually i know
i know what have been happening around
i just kept quiet

maybe some i don't but most i know
i hate myself for clinging on
i will let go...
let go even as a friend

I used to think positively about friend
now i give it a second thoughts

It's lucky it happen too fast for me to capture
damn
i hate it

I always thought towards love i have the right opinion
but i'm wrong

My 1st i tried to forget using someone
which is older then me
i tried,
i thought it was love but it isn't
i thought that by trying to like or let your emotions run while to
have feelings for who i want to forget the pain you suffered was right
but i guess i'm wrong
maybe..
maybe this is using someone

sigh..

now i realise how sucha f.king person i'm
because i have felt being the one being used
maybe not to forget but just to "play"

To me
i'll never ever believe that someone can love me until words and actions are done
because for words only it's hard
even harder to know
i would go and and being say how much i love you
WITH actions done...
i can't take it
yet i have
...
f.king ridiculous

You'll never understand cause never will you even want to...
i just hate why must fate being so cruel to meet after so long (:
everyone is fine but not you

I think i gonna stop caring even as a normal person
i do not want to seems like im so despo in your eyes
to you to show others like im just a despo because im not

i have move on and be who im
we might find a place in this world someday
but i doubt that this day wouldn't come
because i don't even dare to think of that

i know we would never see face to face ever again

my heart has died since that day
when i knew everything
i have been back to square one since that fateful day

when i know all my hopes are dash
since that day i have already go my own way

i didn't denied that yes im sad that all these have to happen
till now
sometime i kept wondering
how can someone change so fast
i just don't understand

but
it's over

what happen have already happen
we have our worlds to live
i just know too much to not move on
i just don't belong to your world

long time ago
we met, fate bought us to meet again some years later
but...
never the less you or i will never be in the same circle
you're just part and parcel of my life
we're each other stepping stone in life
one you pass that stone
we will never meet again
maybe later in life the same stepping stone might appear but for now
i know this stone have past

i just do not want to seems despo cause im not
i not this kinda of people
this feeling just hurts...